Whenever someone says "forgive and forget", I recall the opposite lesson from R.J. Foster: “Forgive but do not forget.”

The point is, if you forget about the hurt, what happens when you remember it again? Are you still forgiving? Again and again.

The true proof of forgiveness is that you remember but still forgive anyway.

"
Forgiveness does not mean that we will cease to hurt ...
Forgiveness does mean that we will forget ...
No, we remember,
but in forgiving we no longer use the memory against others.
"

Richard J. Foster