Hanlon's Razor: "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."

"Stupidity" implies the other person does not have "immediate" control. He / she does it because he / she could not know better. It is a natural occurence, so to speak. The intent might be good, but the act is stupid. ("Stupid" does not always mean intelligence-wise, in this case. Sometimes it can be due to being uninformed or misinformed.)

"Malice", on the other hand, clearly implies intent.

If we attribute someone's act to malice, then our relationship may degrade because the trust is eroding. But if we attribute it to stupidity, then we can assume the intent is good but the stupidity is unintentional. The trust in the relationship still holds.

I know life is more complicated than that. But I find that stupidity occurs more often than malice, if I dig deep enough. So it will be healthier for my psyche to remember Hanlon's Razor when someone does something negative.

~

Somewhat related: Cheerful heart